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Sermon: Overcoming disappointment by Joyce Meyer & a bible plan “DIVINE SEPERATION” by  Lisa Singh

It took FOREVER to put this together with lots of mixed feelings and buying time with different excuses to Restie but FINALLY, HERE WE ARE! I chose the above sermon from Joyce Meyer and the bible plan as my favorite sermons because of their impact on my life through a tough season. I hope my testimony helps someone heal, gain perspective, and grow spiritually.

All my life, I dreamed and desired to be married so I could be that virtuous woman with whom my husband would be very well pleased. I was fortunate to meet and fall in love with a great man who I cherished, and I was confident that he was the one. We had such a great friendship and had so much fun together. Like all relationships, it wasn’t all nice and rosy, we had some issues that caused us to break up and get back together about two or three times over the first two years, but I loved him so much and was going to keep trying to make things work because he was everything I ever wanted, a catholic man that ticked many of my boxes.

On our journey to Holy Matrimony, I happened to conceive and birthed a beautiful baby girl, shortly after she was born, I conceived another baby, a son (totally unexpected). Life was overwhelming; I was still adjusting to being a new mother, pregnant, with a full-time job and running a business too and as if it wasn’t enough, the pandemic hit (scary times, we didn’t know what to expect). On the bright side, with the world having shut down for a while, I had a lot of time to reflect and process what I was going through, and life had slowed down a bit helping me to recollect.

On the flip side though, it also revealed how deeply we’d been damaged by the relationship issues we probably had just been covering up with our busy lives. We were living like roommates and not lovers. I knew I needed to seek God’s intervention. I started using the You Version bible app, reflected on daily verses, did guided prayers, and read bible plans through which I discovered just how much God indeed speaks to us through what we read, the people we interact with and what we encounter daily, and he knows and understands just what we are always going through.

During one of my daily devotions, I stumbled upon a bible plan “DIVINE SEPERATION”; nothing had ever spoken to me more than it did. I read it several times and reflected deeply on it. It speaks about the need to separate from people with different values, visions, dreams, and purposes in life else we build STRIFE (also known as bitter conflict).

This bible plan is inspired by the story of Abraham who when God called him to a great destiny, he decided to take his nephew Lot along with him, but they faced so much trouble as conflicts arose among their workers till Abraham decided to separate from Lot. (Refer to Genesis 13: 5-18, 18:16-33). Four major lessons are taught; we need to get rid of Strife in our lives, divine separation brings clarity of our call and reestablishes the promises of God, divine separation will reveal hidden plans for the future and finally it will produce effective intercession.

This plan was very eye opening to what I was experiencing. It was clear to me how much I had ignored all the differences in values, dreams and so on which had brought us pain and heartache. I would find myself picking on every wrong thing my partner would do that I had lost sight of the good in him that initially drew me to him. I would want to be in control of how he was living as if I knew what was best for him (ONLY God can change someone). I had developed such a habit of complaining that I had become a nag. Strife had taken over and blinded me from all God’s blessings, I was unable to pray effectively as I was mostly lost in my head worrying about everything. I was depressed at the thought of possibly separating and this influenced everything else around me. I was closed off and this was easy because we were in the lockdown. I had learnt though that it was okay to be separated from someone and still love them but from a distance. This would benefit not just myself but the different people I was in relationship with.

I had never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would consider a separation from the person I loved so much and the father of my children. I wasn’t giving my best self in the relationship, I wasn’t well emotionally and mentally, I was worried for my unborn baby’s health and even my relationship with my very young daughter. I turned to God and prayed asking that if it were the best thing for me, that He would give me the strength to go through with the separation and if not, he would make it easier for me to reconcile after taking a much-needed break to find the healing I needed.

I took the big leap of faith and separated from my partner (this was easier for me as the relationship was outside the bond of marriage; should you be married, there are several ways to work towards the restoration of the marriage). It wasn’t easy at all as I was overwhelmed with emotional pain; I was confused, scared, and uncertain, exhausted and couldn’t see beyond the burning emotion in the moment. It was so hard that it left me really questioning if I had made the right decision even when I knew it was necessary and possibly God ordained, I knew I had to be strong. I was confident that since I sought God’s blessing and guidance in taking the step to separate, he would help me overcome the pain, confusion and reveal to me His will for the relationship.

Only much later did I learn that it was much tougher than I imagined it would be. I regretted my decision on several occasions such as the delivery of my son, the kid’s birthdays, the regular visits to check on the children, hospital runs on my own, experiencing every single milestone of the babies. These triggered my emotions, and all made me feel like I had denied my children a chance to grow with their father and robbing him of the joy to experience life with his children.

The reality of being a single parent kicked in, I didn’t think I’d do it primarily on my own, I felt devastated and broken.  My spiritual life was shaken every now and then by the evil one who through so many lies convinced me it was all my fault and I blamed and hated myself, often throwing myself into misery. I began to think that possibly the only solution or way to feel better was reuniting with my baby daddy so we could be a family again. I tried two times and failed miserably, it only left me with lots of pain and heartache but for some reason my heart was still not settled, and I felt like I still needed to confirm really if he was really closed off to the possibility of us getting back together so I would deal with my guilt and know I tried at least.

Almost two years later, I decided to make one final attempt, I asked some family members and friends to pray with me, for once I was open with some people about what I wanted (I had never ever opened-up to anyone about a possible reconciliation), I embarked on a serious fast and prayed a Novena. This time it was different, it was a physical meeting not like the first two attempts, I don’t even know how and where I gathered the confidence to have this very difficult conversation because I am usually very afraid of confronting situations.

His response was still firm, and he did not want to consider a reconciliation. Surprisingly, it did not sting as bad I thought it would, God had prepared me for the worst I believe (strength more than I could comprehend). I believe God needed to affirm to me His position on the relationship at that point. The talk was actually very productive as we discussed how we could co-parent better, made plans for the future for them and I felt like in that moment, on that very day, I made the decision to fully move on from what was and focus on how best to make of what we had left then, parent our kids. I have been very fortunate that he is a very supportive father and very much involved in his children’s lives. God knows am more than grateful to Him for the wonderful father my ex is.

In one of Joyce Meyer’s videos, “Overcoming disappointment” (you can access these on the Joyce Meyer app) she reminds us of the privilege we have to let go of the things behind us and press towards what’s ahead as the apostle Paul affirms in Philippians 3:13.  We need to continuously talk to God about our disappointments and discouraging situations, repent, climb up out of the low pits we’ve let ourselves fall into, make good decision to override the bad decisions, avoid guilt tripping ourselves and go on until you win the battle of the evil one that convinces us otherwise.

I’m so glad that I didn’t give up prayer and kept praying so hard even when it was almost impossible, sometimes with tears and no word to say, I would just sit in silence and dwell in his presence. I devoted myself to praying for the father of my children to receive the healing he so much required to be able to start a new journey and so we can be able to co- parent better. I sought forgiveness and chose to forgive. There’s great power in forgiveness and this is evident in our co-parenting relationship.

My relationship with God continues to grow and I am nothing without Him. He has been my strength through these past few years and continues to guide me on. From when I took the decision to separate, I had always prayed to God to heal me completely and take the regret and pain away and I can confidently brag almost three years later, I have received my complete healing (and still being transformed), being able to share this story is in itself a great sign of that. Healing is a process and takes time, you have to trust God for it and let him lead you a step at a time, the bible says in Psalms 119:105, His word is a lamp upon my feet and a light to my path, pray always (while proclaiming his promises) and he will direct you and should you go off track, since you would have sought Him Mathew 6:33), he will redirect you.

However painful the past few years have been, it has pushed me to a great journey of self-discovery and helped me fall in love with myself, appreciate myself more. I’ve picked up new healthy hobbies/habits (fitness topping that list) which has not only improved my physical health but also mental health greatly. No one knows what the future holds, but I know God is working for my good in it all. I am well pleased, at peace and living a day at a time with a grateful heart for God has been and continues to be faithful. I am a better mother now and generally a better being, I can see this in all aspects of my life; how I relate with people, perform at my job, and go about life and making decisions.

Whenever life gets complicated, let go and Let God have his way and pray to him to reveal to you his will for what you are going through. Do not labor too much in your own strength to change your situations, you’ll only frustrate yourself.

I pray this blesses someone who is on a way different course of life than what they would have wanted to be on. Trust that God is working for your good and knows what’s best for you and how you can best fulfil your purpose in life.

The Bible plan https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/4108

Here is Joyce Meyer’s Sermon