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There are a lot of things (our physical appearance), circumstances (where we currently are in life, such as, our social status or what we are going through) or experiences (our past trauma) that shape our identity. These shape not only how other people perceive us but also how we see ourselves, the former also influences the latter, i.e., other people’s perception of you greatly influences your self-perception. There is a lot of empirical research centered around this topic, but since this is not a research paper, I will try not to focus on the scientific arguments surrounding the subject but rather focus on the spiritual perspective.

My favorite sermon today has been pulled out of my 2020 archives. I thought so hard about what to write about and found myself with so many choices. In the end, I decided to randomly go on the elevation YouTube channel and just as I scrolled through the different messages, my eyes came across a sermon that I listened to last summer (August). Just one look at the title brought back memories of the effect it had on me in that moment, so I went back into my sermon notes and scripture journal, and I knew then that it was the one! The sermon is from Pastor Steven Furtick (aka PSF) titled “I’m Not What I Thought.” It is based on one of my favorite bible scriptures Mark 5: 21-34 also in Luke 8: 40-48. The scripture is about (as Mark calls it) “A Dead Girl and a Sick Woman.” For those who aren’t well acquainted with the scripture, the dead girl is sick when the story begins. It starts off with her dad, Jairus-a very important man in society, comes to ask Jesus to go heal his daughter. Jesus on his way to Jairus’s home gets interrupted by something extraordinary. The woman who is identified as the “woman with the issue of blood” had apparently, had this issue for 12 years and had spent a lot of money trying to get better but in vain. It is noteworthy that according to the Jewish custom, this woman was deemed unclean and was therefore not allowed to touch anyone or be touched (Leviticus 15:19). Nevertheless, she managed to sneak into the crowd, touch Jesus’s cloak and she was suddenly healed from her illness.

PSF starts off by pointing to the fact that social status has limits when it comes to some situations. Jairus, an important man, came begging Jesus for help (the only one who could help change his situation). Therefore, you need to be humble in God’s presence. He further explains that this lady, who was probably socially irrelevant-because of her situation- was struggling with something that no one could see on the outside. This is probably how she managed to mix into the crowd without being recognized. PSF employs this to explain how many of us are going through things that we are hiding. He adds that because our pain or bleeding is on the inside, we struggle to find people who can relate to us because in many cases we are hiding our pain from them. And because of this, we try to find temporary solutions to our pain or our trauma, to help us go through the process but instead they only make it worse. This could be alcohol, drugs, or people who only use us. Eventually, this issue becomes apart of you, it becomes your identity. It may be a genetic issue that you are dealing with or things such as anxiety, depression, a disability, etc. It could even be Something you start to call yours, saying things like, “I am a victim” or “I am depressed” or “I am an alcoholic” Or “I have anger issues.” PSF warns us against these claims and advises us to instead say, “I am not depressed, I deal with depression.” By doing this, he believes, you separate yourself from your issue and the things that you are going through. That is to say, a struggle is something that you can conquer and in this lady’s case, we learn that when you meet Jesus, your situation can change not only your condition but also your self-perception. Moreover, you may feel neglected because of your issue and just like this woman, you may feel like you are not as important as Jairus was, to get Jesus’s attention. Clearly Jesus does not care about your social status, he cares about you as an individual and even when you feel unseen, you should trust that he feels your pain.

Pastor Steven explains a sequence of events that led to the healing of this woman. Some of them he hypothetically derives from the gaps left in the scripture. He also believes that in order to get our miracle, we can learn from what this woman did. She heard (about Jesus), she came (to him), she thought (positively), she touched (him by faith), she felt (or experienced Jesus), she told (him her issues) and she knew (or found out who she was in Christ!). PSF spends a good amount of time explaining the significance of our thoughts. We already know that other people’s negative thoughts about us and our own negative thoughts can be damaging. He points out that the woman’s healing was initiated by her thoughts. Not the negatives ones that she thought about herself or the thoughts of other people that she believed about herself. She decided to think with faith and because of this she reached out to touch Jesus and squeezing through a crowd, she touched his cloak and was instantly healed. Despite thoughts such as “I am not worthy, I am unclean, what’s the point, I’ll never make it, what will people say,” which probably run through her mind, she held onto the right thought which PSF says, was “the one that mattered.” He also argues that “…other people’s opinions, they’re not limits, they are merely suggestions.” Therefore, he urges us not to put a limit on our blessing from God because of who we think or what other people think we are.

Furthermore, PSF points to something very significant that is easily ignored when reading this scripture and that is that Jesus stopped (and let a little girl die or let his father deal with the news of his child’s death) just so he could show this woman how significant she was to him and to God’s kingdom. Imagine this, when Jesus asked for who it was that touched him, this woman trembled with fear as she came to reveal her broken identity and story to the one who already knew it. According to PSF, although she thought that she was unclean and had caused a scene leading to a delay and the death of an important man’s daughter, when Jesus saw her, he neither identified her with her issue nor was he mad at her, instead, he called her DAUGHTER!! Moreover, PSF says, Jesus stopped “because there was another daughter (the woman) who forgot that she was a daughter.” He reminded her of who she was, and this set her free.

In conclusion, PSF asks, “what could the opinions of others do to you if you knew “I am not what I did, I am not what I went through, I am not what I thought I was, I am not what I suffered, I am not what I lost?“ Jesus didn’t only heal her; he changed her self-perception. Therefore, it is not enough to receive healing from our painful experiences, we also need to change the way we see ourselves.

Why did I find myself connected to this sermon? Well, I believe that coming across this video wasn’t a coincidence. More than anything, I needed this reminder. I was reminded that whatever I have gone through in my past, my mistakes, my issues, what other people think of me, my struggles, Jesus knows all of them and he is telling me, “yes, you are imperfect, but that’s not all you are, you are more to me, you are my daughter and I have chosen you!”

Here are words from a popular song by Hillsong worship that precisely sums up how I feel right now. Be blessed!

“Who You Say I Am”

Who am I that the highest King
Would welcome me
I was lost but He brought me in
Oh His love for me
Oh His love for me

Who the Son sets free
Oh is free indeed
I’m a child of God
Yes I am

Free at last He has ransomed me
His grace runs deep
While I was a slave to sin
Jesus died for me
Yes He died for me

Who the Son sets free
Oh is free indeed
I’m a child of God
Yes I am
In my Father’s house
There’s a place for me
I’m a child of God
Yes I am

I am chosen, not forsaken
I am who You say I am
You are for me, not against me
I am who You say I am

With love and prayers,

Resty Kansiime

Here is a link to today’s sermon.