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Sometimes, we fail to find answers to the questions in our mind. I have spent the last couple of hours trying to find a better way to communicate what I feel using the sermons I have listened to over the years and I just cannot seem to find the perfect sermon that can communicate the words that I want to say. Yesterday, about this time (that I am writing this), I received a terrible message (just when I was getting ready to start my online service). Instantly, my soul was down and I found myself in a state of confusion. I found out that my cousin who I haven’t seen in a long time had passed from a motorcycle accident. The fact that I haven’t talked to him in a while made me shift my pain to feeling for my cousins who had just lost their brother. I started to imagine the pain that they may be going through, the confusion and disbelief. If I am feeling this way, what are they going through? I wondered! So instead of doing my weekly sermons from the previous service of the week. I decided to dedicate this blog post to anyone out there that is going through this darkness. Anyone that has lost someone and is still struggling to deal with that loss. I do not believe that there are enough words that can help someone who is experiencing or who has experienced sudden loss. As a matter of fact, I am so nervous as I write this because I previously shared how such times may make some of us (who are trying to console our loved ones who are in pain) to say the wrong things with the right intention. But I feel compelled to share how I feel to encourage someone out there who may be in this darkness with some of my favorite sermons that can help explain what do do during grief and loss.

In his sermon “What To Do In A Valley” at Elevation church, Pastor Jabin Chavez with reference from Ezekiel 37: 1-10. He believes that there are five things we can do when in the valley (the valley here represents the seasons of pain, loss, disappointment, etc.). i)(Trust that) God is with you in the valley. He is with you there because he took you there, even if you don’t feel it. He believes that when you “cannot trace his hand, (you) can trust his heart” ii)Look for the possibility because “God is greater than your situation…gaze your eyes to Jesus.” Just like you may be feeling broken and ready to give up like these dry bones (in the scripture), believe that no matter how broken you feel, He (God) can bring you back to life. “Choose to see this situation through the lens of faith and not the lens of doubt” say pastor Chavez and he further encourages us to try not to focus on the reason why we are there. iii)Take a step into the unknown. Pastor Chavez say, “Get comfortable giving God your not enough…all you’ve got” (broken faith). God is able to multiply your little faith and strength into more than enough, rely on Him. You may, even in this painful situation receive a miracle. It is significant to know that God will navigate you through this darkness and bring you to the other side, trust Him and spend more time praying and reading his word. Pastor Chavez also describes this season as “moving on a maybe.” iv)Prophesy to your situation. He encourages us to speak the word of God to our circumstance until we believe it and until we eventually see it come to pass. There is a lot of encouraging words in our bibles that we can use to speak to the thoughts the devil is bringing to our minds throughout this darkness. Hebrews 4: 12 says, “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” And finally, v)Invite the wind, speak to the wind. “When we’ve done all we can do, I (we) need the wind to blow (into our situation)”. The bible says, “not by mighty, nor by power but by my spirit” (Zachariah 4: 6). The Holy Spirit will comfort you, invite him into your situation.

For my second sermon, I remembered an online service I attended (at Hillsong Church ) preached by Pastor Brian Houston titled “God is There.” He employed the scripture from Jeremiah 29: 4-14 which tells us about Israel’s message from God through Jeremiah while they were in captivity. In the chapters before, 25: 8-14, God, because of the Israelites’ sinfulness told them of what was to come. Now in the chapter selected by pastor Brian, the Israelites were in captivity and God was preparing them for the time they would spend there and at the same time encouraging them not to give up but to endure. On the surface, this may appear like it is not related (in comparison) to the situation where someone has done nothing to deserve the pain coming for them especially losing a loved one. Unlike the Israelites who received warning before their darkness, some of us suddenly lose our loved ones. However, some do go through another period of pain where they nurse their loved ones and start to feel no hope for their recovery. I believe that this message can encourage both these groups of people, because death or tough times never prepare us for the emotions that come with them.

One thing we can agree on is that God is the one who gives and takes away. He knew this day would come, whether he prepared you or not he knew that you would be devastated. There are four points I picked from pastor Brian’s sermon that I believe can help us. i)God is there. He notes that even in a city like Babylon where they didn’t worship God, God was there with the Israelites and He told them he would be with them in their persecution. He told them they would find him if they searched Him with their heart, he would listen when they prayed (29: 12-13). Pastor Brian encourages us to seek for God in this place where we are even if it’s not where we planned to be. In our sad place, in our lonely place, God is there if we seek him. ii)God is thinking about you. He reads Psalms 40: 17 which say, “yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer O my God, do not delay.” This is a prayer we can say when in distress. Pastor Brian further encourages us never to believe that God has forgotten us. He explains that the Israelites believed that God didn’t care for them and that he had evil thoughts towards them. These thoughts of doubt were inspired by the prophets in Babylon who told the Israelites that God didn’t care about them, they were false prophets and God was warning his children against such evil people. Unfortunately, we have such people in our society who choose to make people believe that they deserve what they are going through and that God is punishing them for something they did. However, pastor Brian tells to be careful when we decide “to interpret tough seasons” we shouldn’t think of God as evil instead, he encourages you to believe, “God is thinking thoughts of peace towards you.” iii)God is working on you. He warns us to be aware and not to listen to everyone in this tough time, people who are telling us what we should be doing. Only God knows what this season means and what He is using it to do in your life. Now this is one hard thing to believe if you ask me, but let us choose to trust Him. iv)God will bring you to a desirable end. God promised to take care of the Israelites, he promised them a future they were to hope for. God declares, “for I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (29: 11). Pastor Brian further encourages us not to “make judgements about how God thinks and feels about us based on a moment.” No matter how tough it may be, we need to try and believe that God has a bigger plan for our lives and that these feelings we have are temporary. We will not get our loved ones back, but God who knows all things will see us through to the end. Pastor Brian concludes his sermon by saying, “this season is real, but God’s thoughts towards you are not evil, not punishment, (he is) not trying to bring you down, they maybe thoughts of correction (in some other cases such as people going through something as a result of their actions and decisions) but ultimately, they are thoughts of peace.”

Similarly, pastor Steven in one of his sermons used the scripture from 2 Chronicles 20: 17 to preach a message titled “When the Battle Chooses You.” It says, “you will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.” This sermon can mean a lot of things for different situations and for different people but pastor Steven uses it to explore the situations where circumstances surprise us, circumstances we had not planned for (which in the case of my blog post, is the sudden loss of a loved one). Although Jehoshaphat’s (King) battle was literal, pastor Steven uses this scripture to explain spiritual battles that we face such as, the battle in our minds to stay faithful when we are feeling like giving up. The king was informed that he was about to be attacked and there was nothing he could do about it. His decision is something we can borrow from in our circumstances where we encounter such surprises. The king and all the others bowed down, face to the ground and worshipped God (verse 18), on the next day, they decided to give praise to God as they matched towards their enemy and God did the rest. Pastor Steven says, “it might be bigger than me (you) but it is not bigger than God.” He further notes that in Jehoshaphat’s prayer, he (Jehoshaphat) “shifted his focus from what is coming against him to the one who reigns above him” (see 20: 5-12). In addition, pastor Steven tells us to remind God of His promises for our lives, not for God to remember but so we can remind ourselves.

It turns our that the cause of this battle was not their fault so it seemed unfair that the Israelites were being attacked because of something God told Moses to do years ago, that is to let the Edomites (Esau’s descendants) live. Therefore, according to pastor Steven, this was God’s problem, and so He had to take it up. When you are in pain and confusion, just like in the case of Jehoshaphat, you find that you have no idea what to do and that is why pastor Steven tells us to look to God. God gives and takes away (remember?), He knew how you would feel in this situation, so it is his responsibility to take you out of this darkness, and He will if you let him. Your strategy for this battle is for you to give it all to God, all the anger, the disappointment, the pain, the questions, the tears, the rage, give it all to him. “Let God be God,” says pastor Steven.

I could go on and on. There is so much out there to help us through this terrible darkness. I would encourage you not to try to fight this battle alone. Yes sometimes being alone while dealing with loss is something good, but if you have some people to help you move through this season, allow them to. I believe that everyone has their desired way of dealing with grief and trauma but no matter what you decide to do, I want you to know that God understands and He is right there with you. You can choose to pray and worship your way through it like Jehoshaphat did, it is up to you. Just don’t let anyone tell you how to grieve, we are all different, do what works for you with God’s guidance. Step by step, day by day, God will walk you through it. Amen.

I pray that God may give you the strength to go through this darkness. May the Holy Spirit blow your dry bones (your pain, trauma and frustration) back to life. It may take sometime for you to get to great again, but I believe that if you trust God, each day will be a step into the light. I hope you choose Him so that He can give you what you need to push through.

With love and prayers,

Resty Kansiime

Here are the sermons from today’s blog:

Pastor Jabin Chavez; What To Do In A Valley | Pastor Jabin Chavez | Elevation Church – YouTube

Pastor Brian Houston; God Is There | Brian Houston | Hillsong Church Online – YouTube

Pastor Steven Furtick; When The Battle Chooses You | Pastor Steven Furtick | Elevation Church – YouTube